on new beginnings
let me tell you why i may be worth your time
so you’ve ended up on substack, where people post their takes on useful topics like economics, and then there is this one: ramblings from a twenty-something in new york city, which is so unique because nobody moves to new york in their twenties.
or you find this email in your inbox and are wondering what you signed up for…
either way, let me tell you why this newsletter might be worth subscribing to, besides blatantly trying to tell you that i’m not like other girls.
who and what is a tasha
i’m tasha, a twenty-something woman living in the city. i moved to new york in 2022, fresh from my undergraduate studies at northwestern university—in the biting cold of evanston, illinois—and now work in finance. though being an analyst takes up most of my days, i don’t like boxing myself up as just an analyst. i love my job, but i’m much more than that.
i’m also a writer. i am a poet by training, have dabbled in literary translation, and have since transitioned into writing fiction. i published my first contemporary fiction novel, “she smells of turmeric,” with new degree press in 2021. i’m working on my second book that is vastly different and way more complex than my first one.
as of right now, i’m hobbling around the 60% mark for the novel’s first draft. writing is hard and comes with a lot of tears, which is why i am procrastinating on it with this substack.
where did tasha come from
i call myself a multi-hyphenate because i never felt like i fitted in a box—which includes where i come from. i was born in los angeles, grew up in between singapore and indonesia (jakarta), and only ended up back in the states for college. i still, however, call jakarta my home.
my ma’s family is chinese; her ancestors immigrated to east java (surabaya) from fújiàn in lieu of the chinese civil war. ma was born in surabaya, but her family moved to singapore when she was in elementary school. she only moved back to indonesia (jakarta) when she got married.
my pa is chinese-dutch-indonesian. his parents met in war-torn surabaya, at a prison camp during indonesia’s japanese occupation. he constantly says that i remind him of my late dutch-indonesian grandmother, who likes to eat cake. i don’t like cake, but i did inherit my oma’s light brown eyes and pink-undertoned skin.
as a result, i don’t look indonesian, but i don’t look chinese, dutch, or american, either. and that’s where the multi-hyphenate identity begins.
As a Chinese Indonesian woman with Dutch roots and an American education, my life is a melting pot of various cultures. This means that, sometimes, my American mind will nag at my Chinese upbringing, clash with my Indonesian way of thinking, and connect with my Dutch subconscious. But this also meant that, sometimes, I felt alienated by Indonesia. By any country, to be more precise.
– from She Smells of Turmeric’s foreword
i share this because this intersection is where a lot of my perspectives, thoughts, and angst lie. the struggle feels like pulling a rubber band that refuses to snap. i have since learned to live in this in-between; i’m thankful to the words of alexander chee and natasha tretheway (who taught me at northwestern!) for helping me reconcile with my mixed breed identity.
for those of you who can relate with this mindset or want to learn more, you’ve found the right place.
what on earth is tasha talking about
honestly, most of the time, i don’t know myself!
but between you and me, i’m hoping that by publishing my multi-pronged thoughts and meditations, i can spill the tea ☕️ on all things culture, relationships, and growing up—meanwhile inspiring and furthering my own novel writing. it’s comedy, a slice of life, and everything in between; anything that’s been on my mind will now be on yours, too.
final thoughts, for now
i acknowledge that my twenties won’t last forever, so i certainly don’t take it for granted. i hope that what i learn along the way can help you with your journey, too.
thanks for stopping by, and i hope you choose to stick around.
<3 tasha